Dear Artist: 5 Notes to Remember as You Age with Your Work

Here is a blog post dedicated to my friend, L. She was a really good friend of mine back in high school --- as the emotional sad girl I was, once I click with you, your imprint on me never really goes away. 

I spoke to her recently about what she was doing right now - someone working in finance-something (don't ask me about finance as an industry, haha) - she was pretty stressed but happy in some ways. 

She was offbeat about saying things about work and how she was being stressed out by the amount but really brimmed to the ear when she was discussing her love for ballet and violin.

I used to dance ballet too and pivoted my way to visual art, which I took in college.

We shared this bond over our idealized version of ourselves if we never stopped dancing - we could have or would have been x.

I asked her if she is still dances up until today (just for fun).

She became teary eyed, staring off into one corner of the Zoom video screen and she became silent for a bit.

As I figured, she might have danced a little bit but not to the extent she would have hoped for. She didn't know how to continue the conversation but I told her 

"It's not too late. You can never really take away dance from you, it will always be with you. You can always go back to it." She bursts into tears again. I told her verbally I'd hug her if I were there.

I felt crazy seen, mad, and also funny because what she was in was also how I would look into my relationship with music. Our family friend would always make fun of me for being a toddler who claimed I was the only one who was supposed to sing in the car when something went on --- well, I think I was born a performer, alright.

But not quite today - I felt all this time, my time of singing as a hobby turned into semi-professional endeavor (I used to sing at funerals and at parties a few times), now as I look back at it, were memories, together with time slipping through my hands. Also, at some point, I felt that way (and continue to do so) about my art too.

When I was all caught up in capitalizing all the things I loved or tend to forget what I loved in the first place, I ask myself,

"Why did I want to do this anyway? Am I wasting shit time?"

I always forget --- I make art and sing because life is hard and I'd like to make it a little more beautifully bearable.

These are small little notes I wish I was able to ship out to anyone who has been struggling to confront the concept of time and age (including me):

1. Acceptance of being a late bloomer is a seed.

When everyone else has reached an imaginary “finish line”, some would call it done and feel empty inside. 

Any craft demands continuous practice and a deep sense of confronting but comforting mindset. As long as someone keeps going, time is seen not only as a non-renewable source but as a vital part of the equation to good art. 

For instance, someone discovered the art of printmaking at 18, and followed through by learning and practicing it. This late bloomer's peers at the similar age may seem ahead because they probably had a previous exposure to the craft. Some people may have started doing it ten years earlier. They might have parents working in the industry or have enrolled in a similar workshop at a young age. To a budding one, one must know how to manage expectation if she/he is looking forward in becoming a part of the list of emerging young printmaking artists in a year + actually learn how to enjoy the awkward period to the person he/she wants to be. Mistakes can always be humbling.

I myself have had high exposure to art when I was younger thus really giving me the advantage to marinade myself in time and memories embedded with art. My dad would always keep my thrown scratch paper as he said "it will be valuable one day". Mom always seemed to watch FashionTV at exactly 10 pm to pass time until she felt sleepy --- and there I was, a soft little sponge ready to absorb anything. 

Everytime I would passionately explain the essence of my hobby then and art to older people, I can’t help but notice the sad look on their faces – thinking that they don't have it in them. But I begged to differ as some don't know that they are creative in their daily lives. Cooking is as a form of art; gardening in a backyard or apartment is an art.

Even if someone sees himself/herself as a late bloomer, I suggest that it’s all about owning and putting oneself out there in the open with a self-proclaimed title in sentence form --- "I enjoy gardening, I can be a future professional gardener or be a gardener in my own right. I have my own ways and I'm embracing it."

2. Never be embarrassed to ask someone younger than you.

Filipinos have this famous saying, "Papunta ka pa lang, Pabalik na 'ko." (We have threaded the path that you're taking.) Sometimes people misuse it with a dash of arrogance to instill their edge over a young soul. They don't tend to acknowledge nor listen to a child's insight -- missing the humility to pause and check someone's discovery with eagerness.

Despite the age gap, there is a possibility to learn from a youngster. Kids tend to blurt out fresher perspective# as they had an earlier exposure to new technology or have untainted curious minds --- TABULA RASA "A CLEAN SLATE".

It happens. Anyone can bring something new to the table so refrain from immediately dismissing an opinion from someone who belongs to a lower age bracket.

Having friends from varied age groups, I would share conversations on art, pains, fears, and resonance with them. My acquaintances and friends in their 30s and 40s were kind enough to share their experiences. Mentors who have retired and have been in different industries are also a gem. Then, I realized that age is not a limitation but a quantitative value that makes a dynamic bond. From each and everyone -- always take their advice/thoughts with a grain of salt.

I always think that learning fundamentals from others can always add something to the existing flavors that my work already has. I always hope that I can embrace the idea of my future self. 

3. Actively seek for mentors.

Reena recalled how her relative exclaimed, “She must have inherited the genes from her mother or grandfather, or great, great grandmother." When she was younger, she was fed with the idea that one must belong to a family of artists to possess a talent for it. This fixed mindset must cease to exist. Everyone has the potential to become an artist even if no one ever pursued art in the past five generations of someone’s family lineage.

As a beginner, it is suggested for him/her not to be passive in learning -- sitting and waiting for someone to reach out. When joining workshops and attending a seminar on, actively raise questions to the resource speaker. In these kinds of events, they are generous enough to share their humble beginnings. It is grounding to hear them and remind everyone that one must not skip steps and look for shortcuts to immediately reach success.

As for me, my views connecting with other human beings as an insightful pursuit -- without the primary thought of exactly getting something from them like picking their brain. Sometimes, I think its just  sharing your vulnerabilities and insights on things that they are passionate about.

I would always offer value to give to a mentor or a customer as it opens their eyes to see her not as someone "below" or a "newbie", but a possible collaborator and friend.

I always advise that other than mentors, it’s always great to speak with fellow artists who are in the same journey- by doing this, will contribute in searching connections and knowledge and, even a pep group to be vulnerable with.

4. Never allow regret to poison you.

Regret’s close sibling is lost time and they shouldn’t be the mainstays in someone’s mind. No one wants to spend his last days dwelling frustration and regret.

Lurking in an exhibit’s gala night, there are paintings and installations that can ignite silent wishes that they’ve could have given birth to those works instead – if only they didn’t hold back. Perhaps, some people are guilty of this scenario when a concept bumped into you once yet deferred from executing it because they’re seemingly incapable and unskilled for it.

Time is an important non-renewable source that we have as we need time to learn, enjoy, and process things.

To know how we use our time and value time – is not necessarily strictly checking the hours and minutes spent per task-- but it is geared on being intentional. 

It takes some time to discipline yourself to push yourself to be in a mindset for growth and stick to a routine, but in my experience, can train your brain into a sponge towards a new things and towards a growth mindset.

5. Bury the comment that made you drop your creative pursuit.

Some words may fuel you to do more work and that's good. Yet there are also destructive comments that force you to leave. As these most piercing comments may come from your loved ones, they tend to have more impact. Whatever pain you’ve felt before, perhaps it’s time to reunite with something that you’ve left behind.

There are stories of high school seniors whose parents have thrown discouraging remarks to them. They were gradually conditioned to think that they need to dump their passion and apply for a course that can bring food to the table. Moreover, some remarks even came from “friends” who intentionally dampened their spirit so they can have an edge.

The father of neuroscience, Santiago Ramon y Cajal, had dreamt of becoming an artist as a child. However, his father led him to pursue medical school instead. Despite not being able to pursue an artistic course, he was able to apply his artistic prowess in scientific practice. He believed that the essentials of drawing by reflecting details are both important in the scientific findings. (Zwirm, 108-109)

In life in general, I encountered harsh comments about my work without proper redirection. It was tough. Thankfully, I always was on the look for people in books, on the internet, and some close human beings that pushed her to be on it - no matter what - as long as she loved doing it. As her favorite quote "Your pain is your power"-- not to romanticise pain, trauma, and abuse, but see  that there is always a seed that has been planted somewhere coating resilience or even survival that can bring something worthwhile in the future.

Concept of catching up

Age is linked to time. We gaze at the hands of a ticking clock and estimate how much more time we have. We focus on its numerical value. But moments of happiness when you do what you love -- art -- can give you fulfillment. The purpose, impact, and time will stand still for you and your passion.

Whenever another candle is blown to mark an existence, it should not be treated as a life sentence. Apparently, the more pressure you pump into yourself, the more you might commit detrimental mistakes in your career – forget filling up pages of list of accomplishments to say that you have done well in our craft at a certain age. Yes, accolades can be proof of accomplishments but as long you know that you have never given up in pursuing your beloved craft - you can pat your back, and tell yourself, “Hey, you're still here and you can still make it.” Hope we all make it in our own ways.

I remember an acquaintance ask me as she scrolls on my Instagram feed which now apparently is the "measure" of success of people as they intially look at you. "Were you already TALENTED when you went to school here in NYC?"

Talented. God I hate that word. I probably just spent a RIDICULOUS time drawing. If thats what you call "talented", so be it. 

Go on, spend time 🧡

_

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Reference: Zwirn, Susan Goetz. "Butterflies of the Soul: Cajal's Neuron Theory and Art." The Journal of Aesthetic Education, Vol. 49, No. 4 (Winter 2015), pp. 105-119. JSTOR, www.jstor.org/stable/10.5406/jaesteduc.49.4.0105. Accessed 27 August 2020

Hi there. My name is Clarisse.

✨This is my online space all about creative practice ✍️ process 💌  & my life.

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