Letting Go of the Mess I’ve Made : 2017


“Out in the heartland
I looked into your eyes
And I asked
“Are you ready?
Ready for this life?”

Did you see it coming
It happened so fast
The timing was perfect
Water on glass”

PPP, Beach House

This 2017 was the breakthrough from my fears and my thoughts from 2016. I created a lot of different things outside of my zone and I’ve messed up bowls, pans, fabric and myself too.

It was the feeling of moving myself out from my comfort zone and “expertise” if I had one. also, I’ventured to reach out to more people and to connect myself and know what everyone was doing, what were they feeling, what were they advocating, what did they care about — to find what resonated with me, and I guess made me understand humanity even more and how the world works.

First, I definitely felt I was in no direction to be dabbling and playing around, but collecting all of the knowledge and putting myself back on the writing side (aka writing on my journal everyday)— the feelings of doing everything all at once, doing what wasn’t close my heart, keeping people and even things in my life that were necessary. I haven’t and I shouldn’t have the time for these shapeshifting shadows and empty things and people go with me, my heart and mind wherever I go.

But this weird, satisfying feeling of letting go to better myself and people around me, letting myself have time to do whatever the creative mind tells me to and not what labels I needed to keep up with, stripping the sense of unnecessary urgency and guilt from taking care of yourself,  to let yourself know and absorb goodness once and for all, pacing and focusing on things that matter the most, saying absolutely “no” to whatever felt like fed the fear of missing out, shutting my phone when I needed to–

a list of things I had to learn in the process.

Everything happened so fast, timing was definitely perfect.

I want to invite you what made you crazy and crying that only you have realised this year– maybe things you need to unlearn? relearn? let go? There is always one or two. 

End with grace and list down your successes or wins throughout the year, wish well and better days with hope and faith.

Love and light,

S.S.