“To create a mess and not be sorry for it”.
It wasn’t always a goal that we usually aim when we do different kinds of messes. And for me, 2016 was the opening gateway to accepting the unpleasant, ugly, unexpected, unnatural and unsettling.
Its the part where you mind focuses on something else rather than your usual day-to-day ritual, the itch underneath my toes you can’t pinpoint, and the unsettling paper cut that hurts bad as hell despite the small increment of its damage.
How interesting it has been to reveal to myself that I haven’t lost any progress or any part of the story I’ve been to, despite all the clashing frustrations and battles inside me. It wasn’t as easy as being in tune and comfortable accepting the unpleasant parts of me and my process and move along despite its presence. The persistence of the mind to focus on the end point and comfort of making something so familiar leaves no room to give way– I might have learned to forget that the process was a way of forgiving itself.
This year of 2017 is not a year of resolution for me but a continuation of what feel good to do, rather than what seems comfortable to me, yet an activity where I feel no forgiveness. This year is hopeful to be part of self-love, exploration, focus and forgiveness. To be grateful for the feelings, situations and people we come by that is uncanny to think of “being grateful” towards to. Its embracing, yet learning to let go. Its accepting, yet learning to pause and start again. Its the way I hope to approach my daily activities and curiosities.
To create the mess, is to accept its failures and its deficiencies and loving it anyway. Its working with what you have and what you are drawn towards to. Its how one explores the deep fears and not giving a care when the heart calls for it. Its loving every bit of mistake and win because all of these experiences are part towards a goal to feed the curiosity of the mind.
This is the year to bless the mess I’m in.
How are you celebrating 2017?
S.S., signing out.